The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
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