He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
