im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
