im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
