Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize