just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
