lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
