I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
two words: eviction party
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
