I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Randomize