I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
