So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Randomize
