I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
so let's talk penis.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
