I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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