I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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