Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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