White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Randomize
