We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize