She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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