we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
dude. I can hear the air.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
