I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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