Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
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