how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
