I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
