I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
