Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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