I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
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