can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
