I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Randomize
