dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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