hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Randomize
