she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Couch. On fire.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
