You don't have asthma, your pregnant
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Randomize
