the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize