I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
