THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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