let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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