Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
