I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
