you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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