I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
