careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
