Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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