Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
