She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
