Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Randomize
