You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
That reminds me...we need to get swords
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
