I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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