The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
