You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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