We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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