i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
