i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
