I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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