Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
