You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
