My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Randomize