I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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