ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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