I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
