There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Where did you get a picture of my penis
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
