3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize
