Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
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