Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize
