Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
